Alex住的地方原来离傅谈笑住的地方不远。他和朋友合租了一个三室一厅带院子的房子,有一个很大的厨房。他说他们经常在院子里烤肉喝啤酒,她不禁羡慕起了这种生活。在她住的地方,连明火都没有,更不要说烤肉了。
Alex的室友已经进了房间。他让她坐在客厅的沙发上,给她倒了一杯水,凉的。
她暗自叹息,对一个中国人来说,此时其实需要一杯热水或者一杯热茶才能感到慰藉。
她无力地抬起眼皮, “Do you have tea?”
Alex微微扬起头,思考了两秒钟, “Ummm, I don’t think so. None of us drink tea here, but I do make some great FAB. Is that OK?”
“Sounds fine.”
Alex从冰箱里拿出几瓶酒和一杯柠檬汽水,鼓捣了一阵,端给她一杯颜色很好看的酒。
“French 75. My favourite. Wow, wow, wow, take it easy! ”
没等Alex说完最后一句话,她已经牛饮了大半。
直到和Alex在一起很久以后,傅谈笑才知道,所谓的FAB(flavored alcoholic beverage),就是有果味的酒精,虽然有果味,但是酒精含量一点也不含糊。
“You were genuinely thirsty, aren’t you? Poor girl. You must have been so scared.”
“Weren't you?” 她不禁反问。他刚才确实是异乎常人地冷静自持,怎么做到的呢?
Alex搂住她坐在地毯上,和她讲了从1990年以来伦敦经历过的恐怖袭击。讲到他的妈妈,讲到他的朋友,讲到他自己遇险的几次,听得她又是一身冷汗。她紧握着杯子的手颤了颤,又猛灌了一口酒下去。
Alex顿了顿,嘴唇落在她额头上,“I feel sorry that you should have been through this. We may call these people cowards all we want, but we haven’t been able to stop them. This world is so wrong.”
傅谈笑紧紧地回抱住他,眼泪渐渐涌上来。
在昏暗的客厅里,Alex无言地摸着她的头发,嘴唇有一下没一下地啄吻她头顶的发丝。
“Oh my fucking god!” 客厅另一头的房间忽然传来一声情绪激动的咒骂,紧接着一个高大的黑影像一团旋风一样卷了过来,长长的手臂一伸就按亮了客厅的灯。
“Alex! You little fucker! Thank god you are alive!” 黑影见到Alex,脸上露出惊喜的表情,并作出要扑过来的架势,傅谈笑赶紧往旁边让了一下。
“Oh shit, I am so sorry. I thought…, I was… .Bloody fuck!”黑影忽然看到了坐在一边的傅谈笑,懊恼地咒骂了两句,好像在责怪自己的唐突——短短五秒钟他说了四句脏话。
“Not a problem. I’m Tanxiao.”傅谈笑忍住笑伸出手。直到这时她才有空端详眼前这位Alex的室友。红棕色的头发,短短的胡须,粉白的皮肤,现在正以一种滑稽的方式涨得通红。
Alex感觉到再不说话他的室友可能会激动到变形,于是大发慈悲地向她介绍了一下“This chap here is Aaron, my favourite Irish guy in the world. Aaron, this gorgeous lady here is Tanxiao.”
“Oh, lucky you Alex! Anyway, have you seen the news? There was an attack at King’s Cross! I just wanted to know you were OK.”
“Thanks mate, we’re OK now. This young lady was still in a bit of a shock, but you just made her smile again.”Alex重新把她搂回来,手指温柔地刮蹭她的胳膊。
“Good to know. All right then, I’ll let you be.” Aaron捶了Alex一拳,然后对她笑了一下,起身回房间。
傅谈笑刚才的阴郁情绪被Aaron这么一打扰不知不觉就散去了,紧接着疲惫袭来,她把头轻轻靠着Alex肩膀上,闭上眼睛。
恍惚间她感觉到Alex横抱起她,门一开一关,接着她就挨到了柔软的枕头和温暖的被子,然后睡得不省人事。
第二天一早,太阳透过薄薄的纱照进房间,傅谈笑不情愿地睁开眼。
这个早晨太过宁静温馨,好像昨晚的一切都没发生过。
Alex还在熟睡,轻浅的呼吸声听得她心底一软。她温柔地吻了一下他的额头。
她起来四处看了一遍,在客厅里找到了她的包。她翻出包里的便携漱口水和湿纸巾,去卫生间把自己简单地打理了一下。
回到Alex的卧室,他换了个姿势依然熟睡着。
她安静地在床边坐下,注视了他一会儿。在WhatsApp上编了一条信息发给他, “I had a good time yesterday, despite all the chaos. You look hot when you are sleeping. XD.”
她起身准备离开。
刚站起来就被一双结实的臂膀抱住。Alex把头搁在她肩窝里,闷闷地说“I can’t believe you are doing this to me.”
她笑起来, “What did I do? You are making me sound like an evil woman.”
“Yes you are, leaving like this. ”他不容拒绝地把她拉到床上,赤裸而温暖的上身压住她。
傅谈笑蹬掉鞋子,抬起手,圈住Alex的脖子,低语,“OK. My bad. How can I make it up to you, innocent boy?”
“Well, we’ll see.” 他呢喃道,嘴唇靠近她的,话音消失在他们贴近的地方。
他吻得很热烈,英挺的鼻尖和她贴在一起,用舌头细致地描绘她的嘴唇。
他的嘴唇颜色好像比平时要浅一些,是因为刚醒吗?也有可能是因为阳光?
Alex似乎感觉到她的胡思乱想,因为他忽然轻轻地咬了一下她的下唇。于是她含住他的上唇,舌尖温和地在他的唇珠上游曳。他也伸出舌头,模仿她的样子舔她的上唇,卷住她不放。
她腾出缠在他脖子上的双手,顺着他的脊椎感受他的肌肉轮廓。斜方肌、竖脊肌、腰方肌…… Alex的喘息陡然粗重起来。他意乱情迷地吻着她柔软的耳垂和细嫩修长的脖颈,身体往上挪了挪,有一个已经隆起发硬的地方贴住她的耻骨,随着他的动作不轻不重地撞击着她。
她身体发烫,忍不住像猫一样呻吟起来。
倏地,Alex撑住上半身,隔了一段距离看她。她睁开眼睛,依然是笑盈盈的。他的目光下移,她内穿靛蓝色毛衣,外穿黑色皮衣,紧身牛仔裤,身材凹凸有致。眉毛弯弯,眼睛闪闪,显出几分纯真;鼻头小巧,嘴唇丰满,透着几分肉欲。长发随意地披散着,身体自在地舒展着,又香又软。
Alex的眼里仿佛有两团火在燃烧,身体也烫得不像话。“Fuck, Tanxiao you are so hot.”
他腾出一只手隔空放在她的胸部上方,问她“Is it Ok?”
她觉得有点不忍,但是还是忍住笑对他说“It’s OK, but I’m not on any birth control. So maybe we should stick to the second base.”
“Ah. You might as well kill me now.” 他深吸了一口气,隔着衣服吻了一下她的胸部,又吻了一下她的下巴。翻身挨着她躺下。
她也忍得有些难耐,问,“So you don’t have a condom either.”
“No, but I will go get a ton of them later today.”
她哈哈大笑起来。一时间她的恶趣味冒出来,她说“Don’t be sad. I’ll tell you a joke that’s perfect for this moment.”
Alex无奈地苦笑了一下,握住她的手。
“So there was this girl who had been dating a boy for a while. They were making out and things got heated so they decided to have sex. The girl fished around in her bag and found some Fire and Ice condoms that her friend Jane gave her because Jane was afraid of her mother finding them. The boyfriend happily put one condom on and they had sex. 10 minutes later, the girl cried ‘my vagina is on fire!’ and the boy went ‘my dick feels so cold’. That was the first time they had sex and the last time they used Fire and Ice condoms. Hahaha! What a story!”
Alex也笑了,狠狠地啄了一下她的鼻子。
“I will meet with my GP and see if I could get one of those birth controls.” 她正色道。
Alex坐起来看着她,握着她的手认真地说 “I’m sorry I have acted like a dick. But know that it’s not just sex that I want. I adore you and respect you, Tanxiao. I don’t want to somehow force it on you if you are not ready. I know some birth controls can have serious side effects on women, and we can work it out without using them. Condoms are fine by me.”
她坐起来吻住他,显得有些激动。Alex也投入地回吻她。
她以前有过性关系的男朋友很少和她开诚布公地讨论性,在傅谈笑的要求下他会戴安全套,但他似乎觉得这使得他的性快感打了折扣。而且他对避孕方式的了解非常少,甚至可以说在这方面很无知,不时还会提出用安全期避孕和体外射精避孕。傅谈笑口头解释过,也有给他发过这方面的科普,但他还是希望她能提出一种不戴套的方式。她失望至极,所以那一段关系没持续多久她就提了分手。他很难接受,自问条件不错,学历高,有礼貌,外形也好,两个人相处起来没什么问题,为什么要分手。最后在气头上终究是说了一些很伤人的话,导致他们的分手过程很不愉快。
Alex刚才的一番话让她幡然醒悟。原来不是她的问题,不是她太矫情,不是她要求太高。情侣就是应该这样互相关心,互相协商和妥协。如果对方根本不在乎你在性方面的感受,并且把避孕当作是女人的责任,跟男人一点关系都没有,那么有问题的是他,而不是你。
她动容地说“Thank you for saying that Alex. Really.”
Alex虽然不知道她突如其来的伤感是怎么回事,但是他坚定地抱紧她,安抚地吻着她的耳朵和头顶。
两天以后。傅谈笑预约了她的医生,她们谈论了所有靠谱的避孕措施,安全套、输精管/输卵管结扎、安装宫内节育器、皮下埋植、避孕针、孕激素贴片、短效长期避孕药,最后她选了避孕针,每12周注射一次,虽然有体重增加和骨密度下降的风险,但是权衡之后是她比较能接受的一种。
她给Alex发了消息“I just got the birth control shot.”
他很快回了消息,问她在哪里,有没有不舒服。
她说,一切都好。
Alex说“Aaron and some friends ask if we’d love to go camping on 11th. It’s somewhere on the Isle of Wight. Stunning beaches, warm weather and above all, a strong and sexy guy. What do you say?”
她笑了,回道,“Sounds great. What do I need to do?”
他说,“Nothing. I will come and pick you up. Just be ready to have fun.”